EP 2
I broke up with my Thai boyfriend even though he asked me to marry him.
I chose my own future.
I was torn between moving to Pattaya or staying in Bangkok.
If I went to Pattaya, I knew I would probably end up working in a bar or selling services.
Deep down, I didn’t like that kind of work. I didn’t want to sleep with people I didn’t know or didn’t like. That wasn’t who I was.
So I chose Bangkok.
I sold a computer my ex had bought for me and came to Bangkok with 34,000 baht.
I looked for management or office jobs, but honestly, I was bored.
Working 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., low pay, repeating the same routine every day—it didn’t feel like my life.
Eventually, my money went down to 500 baht.
At that moment, I told myself:
I need to find income along the way, before the end of the month.
Back then, I was using Hi5 and MSN.
One day I saw an advertisement that said: “Massage by pretty girl.”
I walked to the mirror, looked at myself, and thought,
“Well… I’m pretty too.”
I remembered MSN and started messaging foreigners living in Thailand.
I sent messages—almost 100 messages—saying “massage delivery.”
Some foreigners found it funny, some found it cute, and some felt my sincerity.
Slowly, people started to trust me and book sessions.
- Monday to Friday: 1–2 clients after work
- Saturday and Sunday: 7–10 clients per day
In my first month, I earned 23,000 baht from massage, plus 7,000 baht from my office job.
I only stayed at the company for two months.
Then I chose not to renew the contract.
I decided to do massage full-time.
The income wasn’t huge yet, but it was enough to live.
And step by step, my English improved, my confidence grew, and my life slowly changed direction.
Later, I met a man from Scotland.
He told me he was going to work for an oil company for 2–3 months, and then he would return. He allowed me to stay at his condominium while he was away, so I could look after the place for him.
However, he was worried that I might bring other men to sleep in his bed.
That thought never even crossed my mind. I was doing outcall massage, not that kind of life.
By then, I had already cancelled my apartment in the Sathorn area.
I suddenly realized I might end up with no place to live.
I pawned my gold to find a nearby room and rented a small place instead.
I kept working, but gradually, the number of clients dropped.
I became stressed and anxious.
One day, I talked to a regular client from the Netherlands.
He suggested a website to me.
I thought about it for a long time—Would there really be clients there?
At that time, only three people were posting on the site.
But I didn’t have many options, so I decided to try.
The result surprised me.
I suddenly had a lot of work.
I was deeply grateful to that client for helping me find a way out.
At that time, I had 200,000 baht in debt.
I worked and paid off my debts little by little, until I was left with my last 3,000 baht.
Then one day, a man from South Africa booked me for two hours.
The first time I met him, he opened the door—
he was incredibly handsome, very tall, 191 cm.
While he was showering, I texted my friend:
“The client is soooo handsome!”
After the session, I asked him if he had a girlfriend.
He said he was single.
Jokingly, I asked, “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
He said yes.
We arranged a date at MBK.
Before meeting him, I told him I needed to go pay off my debt first.
When I met him, he asked how much I still owed.
I told him 2,000 baht.
He took out 2,000 baht and handed it to me so I could close my debt.
At that moment, I felt like he was an angel who came to free me from my suffering.
One day, he was stopped by fake police officers who demanded 70,000 baht, later reducing it to 50,000 baht.
I hugged him tightly, worried about him, and told him,
“If there’s anything wrong, please tell me.”
From being deeply in debt, my life slowly improved.
I started earning more money and working a lot.
Because of that, I had less time for him.
Eventually, we moved from a small apartment to a condominium together.
My foreign boyfriend never took advantage of me.
But I knew deep down that my work was not suitable for having a relationship.
In the end, we broke up.
He met someone else and later got married.
Before we broke up, he and I traveled together to Laos, Malaysia, and Vietnam.
He knew I was afraid of heights, yet he loved teasing me—always pushing me to feel even more scared, just to see my reaction.
When he finally chose not to be with me anymore, he left me with one last sentence:
“I wish your dreams come true.”
And then, he moved on.
I stayed.
Not with him—but with my life, my work, and my journey.
I didn’t know what my dream was.
All I knew was that I was deeply hurt.
I was in a very dark place that day, feeling completely lost.
Then a message suddenly came in from a client:
“Hi, are you available?”
I told him I wasn’t working.
He replied, “Wait. Let’s talk first.”
Then he said something unexpected—half serious, half absurd—that pulled me out of that moment.
I remember thinking, “Seriously? The timing…”
In the end, I went.
I worked.
Looking back, it became a strangely funny moment—
the interruption that broke the spiral and brought me back to the present.
Sometimes, life doesn’t save us in a beautiful way.
Sometimes, it saves us in the most ridiculous, unexpected moment.
And that was enough—for that day.
I stayed grounded.
I kept working.
I didn’t compete with anyone.
I didn’t compare myself to anyone.
I simply lived my own life.
One day, I met another woman who did massage work like me.
She had a lot of passion—she wanted to work and travel at the same time, chasing experiences around the world.
Later, I went to work in Singapore, and that decision changed everything.
I was detained for 10 hours.
A lawyer came to speak with me, and he explained everything clearly and professionally.
That experience taught me a powerful lesson.
From that moment on, I made a clear decision:
I would only work in Thailand.
No more working abroad.
After that, I traveled for myself—not for work.
Europe, Asia, America.
Country by country.
Journey by journey.
In total, 51 countries.
I was happy.
And then, one day, in London, I met my French partner.
Before I met the French man, I went to Hong Kong and prayed at Wong Tai Sin Temple.
In my heart, I wished for love.
But my friend said something that changed me forever:
“Don’t ask for love. Ask for work and money first.
If you have money, you can find good love anywhere in the world.”
That sentence wasn’t saying money is more important than love.
It was saying that money gives you freedom of choice.
When you have your own stability,
you don’t chase love,
you don’t lower your standards,
you don’t tolerate less than you deserve.
After that, I didn’t stop wanting love.
I stopped begging for it.
I focused on my work, my independence, my life.
And then love came to me naturally — not because I asked,
but because I was standing strong in my own value.
That one sentence changed me for life.
It taught me that real love doesn’t come from praying harder,
but from building a life where you never have to settle.
More coming soon.